Inviting you to check in weekly with like minded artists orienting towards artistic development and life fulfilment through creativity- sharing your progress, stories, ideas or whatever strikes your fancy that you would like to share.
A check in may contain summaries of progress made so far, (progress may mean talking about how many times did you do morning pages, and did you do an artists date?) Maybe your check in may include answering one or more of the check in questions at the end of chapters, not only in TAW but also in Walking in This World and Vein of Gold- I really like the various ways of reflecting through these focusing questions. Or listing for yourself actions you will undertake during the next week, or things that you want to be held accountable for.
As this utilizes a concept of community growth, let's be utilizing cluster guidelines.
morning pages (mp's)- i missed june 30 and july 3, however i did my pages over the weekend and that is an important time for me to avoid avoiding them (i mean just do them).
artists dates (ad's) the bike ride seeing the mayflies, lightning bugs and the hawk.
fun things i did with others this week; with whistle walking and for sorbetto, also with my mom last night our favourite chinese food take out, making kermit voices for people in the store, out to see the canada day fireworks and took pictures with my old pentax k 1000 camera.
fun to have in the upcoming week- don't know yet, but i am looking out for fun wherever it shows itself.
hm, ... i'm not sure if that's the right place for saying that: i feel a little bit sad and week those days. but because of a good cause:
I'm about to pass the next door, the next gate on my way.
feelings of exciting, great pleasure, gratitude, lonelyness too: who will be there yet to understand what i experience??? will i walk this way alone? don't think so, but... damn "but" !
...but i'm happy, too, a little, on the other hand. last weeks, month i enjoyed a process of collecting new ideas for shortstories. more intensive, in a way more authentic: less from the head, more from a inner place, channeld by a bigger "something" whom i learned to trust.
next gate, next door, ... love, hold on to my visions and dreams, ... be the passenger, again, yes i am.
what about that wonderful sketchbook full of tropical flowers...... and those evenings in the warm water...... breathe it all in again...... shut your eyes and relax......
not a lot today.....repairing curtains...!saw some fantastic spiders hiding in them though.....and saved a fortune on buying new ones... how could i say not a lot? made progress with the art and craft trail...someone really keen to participate...and knows of others interested too... stuff in that notebook 2BCRE8TED,building up a storm...dambusting day tomorrow....no really..havent got to trudge through shops for more curtains.... its going to be an early start...
It was an interesting week, yep, for artist date, I went to a second hands market (I hope that is the translation), bought 4 little cars, the bunch about a dollar, it was clouded, after a rainy night, and I felt as I mostly do when I do things I really wanted to do, "odd", but I conquered the feeling.......I'm in week three, and have been delaying finishing it because I found it somewhat difficult parts of it, but I sure been discovering so many things about me. One of the things I'm having trouble, and trying to run away from is memories, I can't remember much between 5 and 12, so no childhood room or stuff. not that I don't have any memory, is just that about somethings my mind can't see a thing, literally comes out blank. Funny thing that, any suggestions? I'm thinking to just go with the flow, see what I can go on with and leave the rest in a place inside where it will start to feel secure. I don't know. Just inner rambling. Work related, or project related, none, I'm in a void now, can't seem to go forward. MP, everyday, yep, even when I didn't want to! I keep thinking that I won't be able to keep my commitment. but so far, so good.
Lots of ideas & not enough studio time to work on them. Makes it hard to concentrate on my day job. The piece I started last week is really exciting! I had a vague idea where I wanted it to go when I set it up--and all week it's been growing and coming together in my mind. I wish I could drop everything else and run to the studio to work on it. Can't. Studio doesn't belong to me--and reality (i.e., my day job) awaits.
it's like being unhappy in love- to wear all these beautiful, wonderful ideas in mind, inside- and not to let it shine bec. of the dayjob and the stress it brings. in my freetime i have to go to sports, to calm down the stress and to save my eyes ( i work on the computer all day long!) ....
when will i find the time to write my stories???
not to think of a nouvelle... but i'm thankful, i've got those ideas. wear it in my heart until i can let them grow up, give birth to them, ...see how they flourish (blossom?)and i know:
they're like flowers, ... and so are yours Horsie :-)
thank you so much 4 inviting us to share this with you!!! in fact it's the reason why i can't spend as much time as i would like with you * my beloved artists * here on the forum what makes me feel sad too... bec. i really miss you all.
...but times change - like they always do. believe in the change * the new is always the better *
Morning pages: I never have any problem getting my morning pages done, although of late they seem a bit static... like I'm talking about the same things over and over again. I watched "The Secret" and "What the Bleep do you know?" last weekend and was reminded that repetitive, obsessive thought patterns are not beneficial to generating new experiences. Mostly it's a sense of insecurity around money and my job. Where I work is in flux at the moment--evolving from one kind of not-for-profit to another kind of not-for-profit by this time next year--so there's a lot of talk of change and transition at work which is making everyone a bit jumpy. And then my home life will be changing by this time next year too when my sister and her by-then husband will be moving out and I will be hunting for a new roommate. I don't particularly want to have roommates--particularly one that is likely going to be a stranger--but the money thing requires it... or I try for a higher paying job... which I don't really want because I want to have the simple, low-stress 9-to-5 so that I have the energy to come home and do my own creative work... but will I be comfortable doing my creative work with some stranger living in my home.
Gah, see... I just did it again. Round and round I go. I know my morning pages are meant to flush some of these circular thoughts... but I know that the more I obsess about it, the more it'll be cemented into my thinking. I've been trying to find ways to just deal with it... doing research, hammering out budgets and making plans... in the hopes that once it's dealt with, I can finally just move on... but it keeps cropping up and it keeps pushing everything else out of my morning pages which I find very frustrating.
Artist date: I haven't had one yet this week, but honestly I haven't really had what I'd called a dedicated artist date since I started the program eight weeks or so ago. The best I've been able to manage is to occasionally go on walks on my lunch hour around downtown. My office is pretty close to the water and the seawall that goes around Stanley Park, (downtown's large urban park). I don't know that they're all that effective as artist dates though since it's barely an hour and then I'm back to my cubicle. The weather is going to be INSANELY gorgeous this weekend and I'm sorely tempted to do a proper artist date either Saturday or Sunday afternoon, but then I find myself worried about losing an entire afternoon of time on my Madame Butterfly project... which is generally time I can't afford to be losing.
Madame Butterfly: For those of you who haven't heard of this... Vancouver Opera is holding an animation contest where animators are being asked to visually summarize one of the operas that they'll be performing during the 2009/10 season. There are good prizes, (I have my eye on a new Wacom tablet), and the contest is being judged by people from local animation studios. The deadline for submissions is November 1, 2009.
While I have been working on this project bit by bit... storyboarding, designing sets and characters (eg. Madame Butterfly herself)... I find myself flip-flopping regularly on whether or not I want to even do the contest. On one level I do... I have a very clear vision of what I want to do that came to me almost instantly after reading about the contest... and it's exciting when you get a very clear direction in your mind for something like this because there's the possibility that someday you'll be able to see it with your eyes and not just in your head... and then be able to share that with other people as well. I know from AW that those are all very good reasons for doing something like this because then it's about process and that's the name of the artist game.
The other reasons for doing this, or not doing this, however get more... muddled.
I'm a competitive person and when I saw the simplistic animation that was the winner of the Chicago version of this opera animation contest, I knew that I could blow it out of the water. I could win this thing and get myself a brand new tablet... something that is rather expensive, but I could really use. Then there's the whole business with the other studios being judges. When I thought it was just Vancouver Opera judging the contest, I was feeling pretty good about it. A friend of mine works at Vancouver Opera in their marketing department, so all I had been thinking about was making this little short for her and her co-workers... not scary at all... but then she tells me that it will be Vancouver studios judging the entries, one of which being this new Pixar studio. At first I'm excited, but that excitement quickly flows into fear... and then resignation... I have it in my head now that if I lose, it'll be like sending out a demo reel to these studios and being rejected--again... but if I win and make all these great contacts in the industry, I can't actually change careers without potentially losing my apartment.
If this bit of drama sounds familiar to those who have done AW before, it's because it's precisely one of the scenarios that AW warns against. I actually thought the Universe was working at a cheeky level of syncronicity this week since when I opened up to do my week's readings Julia launches into the whole bit about the dangers of trying to make too big a jump and getting all terrified. It's in her section called "Filling the Form" where she urges lots of baby steps toward your goal and to resist the anxious voices that scare us to death with thoughts that we're going to need to change our jobs, relationships, finances, homes, etc. because we've now set in motion these dreams of creative success. And I know I am doing EXACTLY what she's warning against... getting all paralyzed by these thoughts of what it might mean to either win or lose this contest based on an animated short that is still in the preproduction stage... and this anxiety is driving me away from working on the project so I find myself frittering more time away in video games, (my favourite brain-numbing tool when I get in that headspace of "I don't want to think right now".)
I also don't like this feeling that I must enter this contest because it is such a great opportunity and I'll kick myself later if I flake out... but if it is too big a leap and it is generating all these anxious, over-dramatic thoughts that could impede my creative recovery in the long run, then maybe I shouldn't enter the contest... of course, if I don't enter then I would've turned my back on that first spark and vision that made me want to do the "Madame Butterfly" piece in the first place... and aren't we told that that thing that is our heart's calling is going to have the greatest level of resistance? I've got back to the point where I can paint and write and work on my animation website without working myself into a tizzy... I want to be able to animate again too, but to do that I've got to somehow re-frame my objectives... or something... I need to dial down the drama otherwise I am going to keep frittering away my time...
Anyways, that's been my week... and now I'm almost looking at my weekend with dread as I try to decide what I want to work on or should work on or whatever...
missed my week end check in which would have been on monday- i missed two days of mps again, the 6th and 7th, but have been hitting it every day since.
having fun on artists dates. remembering to do it, and have had people remind me recently that we always need to reward our self for doing the work.
got my surprise box completed for the international artists way site- will post next week. (will be completing my artists statement this weekend- I hope!)
Jenni... Oh my, absolutely... if I could just stuff all these thoughts into a shelf somewhere and do the work, I wouldn't have HALF the issues that I do right now...
sports. i've found out that sport is really good for me. not just for my body but for my mind. in a longterming process i had to "learn" to feel the moves (sounds strange, but it's true-bec. of some healthy problems... )it took me years. years of cursing and doubts and fears and start it again and again and... a thousands times. now it starts to work. since march i do my (almost) daily walk. it's so usual to me now that i didn't mentioned it yet. i make sure that one longer walk a week i go without my cellphone, to be available for my inner voice only.
next small step was streching. some exercises for my back, Feldenkrais. Feldenkrais - what a wonderful thing! does anybody know? it helps to keep attention, to improve your sences. good thing.
now i'm ready for the next, more powerful step, do some fit fight, dancing or whatever. my goal: 3 times a week. maybe first as an artist date.
interesting: of course the outer moves are very helpful for the inner and 4 my writing too.
...apart from that i'm about to structure my writing process in a new way. Jeff, your idea of one page a day sounds good. this is what i had in mind.
but first i allow me a time (till the end of the month, ... btw.till Leo is in his sign) to write just for love, just in the mood. because i did it for a long time "only" to get over my problems. writing became a therapy ... and lost its sence as a love(d)-thing, as a calling for a while. so i didn't wrote for some years, it was terrible but usefull. bitter medicine. now... "a new flame is borne". stories spread out of me. my inner tongue seems to speak day and night, doesn't care about how less time I've got... and this is good!
like in the fairy tale of "Sterntaler" i collect those ideas, those characters, story-lines, voices like stars at my way. i re-love. i love, feel love, feel loved, ... feel the presence of something higher is taking it's adequate place and space in my life, heart and sences. yes: even my sences recover and feel clearer, refreshed, more active than they ever were.
now i'm glad about my decision to eat more healthy (almost none alcohol, less sweets, more vegetable, no meat), to live more healthy (enough sleep, not to write as much that i'm tired at my dayjob! bec. i would feel bad and bad feelings/ emotions are no good for me and my art). and i left destructive relationships behind. although i'm often lonely now i'm happier than before... i'm on my way.
and i want to thank you all for your company, for sharing. just bec. you are "you" and here and speak out loud or whisper, sing, ... whatever.
* love, respect, success, health and luck to you all*
Just read your comment on your new thread...and I am sooooooo happy for you! What an amazing breakthrough! May your inner creative child find much joy as she grows and plays! Enjoy!
did all mps this past week. only did 1 page today however. but i will probably write more later tonight. am also challenging myself to fit in an extra little bit of writing on a daily basis too.
did an artists date by going to a movie about things i am interested in. also feasted on seasonal cherries.
got back my pictures from the fireworks. finished the artists statement.
also took time and listened to others' truths and found myself moved by them.
This week (every day), I started to write my MPs in our small garden instead of my Computer desk in during drinking my breakfast's Coffee. I think it’s given me many joys and energy - Much more fun to see the bees and butterflies around and hearing the birds without the filter of Windows! Maybe it was the reason that for some days I’ve started some tiny steps forward to my goals. Although my inner child is still worry if I push her again too much to be successful! I’ve “started” to read again books, to become more regulated for doing my Dutch exercises, even planning to watch again some good films, to make some collages, healthy programs….and so on. Good signs!
A slow start to doing the TAW (my first time was in around 2002, with last MPs probably during 2003). Have been doing MPs this time round since Sat July 4th, was intending Saturday to be check in day. I have been doing a lot of nice things lately on my own, enjoying cycle rides, the river, flowers, trees, birds, looking properly at paintings, etc. but when I set up a specific time for Artist date other things got in the way. I plan to start doing tasks as soon as possible, then I will be properly on my way.
I realised that for me there are two sorts of Artist Date, the kind which satisfies my adult self, and the kind my artist child would like to do, and that is the one which is hard to do. So I intend to do one of those as soon as I can. The first one will probably be to play with new pens with coloured cartridges, or play with crayons or paints.
2. I'm really moving forward with my mixed-media piece. I wish I had more access to the studio. This business of only being able to work there once a week is frustrating. It slows the work when my mind is rushing with ideas and makes it hard to concentrate on my day job. Also, I've got several new ideas begging for their big moment, and they'll just have to wait.
3. I am really excited about some of the posts I"ve been reading. Sounds like people are getting a lot out of TAW and moving forward. Congratulations to everyone who's giving the program a chance and getting something out of it. You inspire me.
4. I love my dog, my horse, my husband and my kid...not necessarily in that order.
Weekly check-in... (warning: a certain amount of ranting may follow)
1. Morning pages... yes, I did my morning pages every morning without fail.
2. Artist Date... not so much, or at least nothing that I could point my finger to and say "yes, that was my artist date for the week!" I just got back from dropping some books off at the library and I stopped in at the library book store for about 15 minutes because I usually get a kick out of all the stationary stuff and little knickknacks. Normally I just browse, but today I let myself buy a little brightly coloured elephant memo holder and a postcard with some pretty art on it. How effective was this act? Probably not very much since I kept checking my watch to make sure I could get back to the office in a reasonable amount of time and mentally running my month's budget to see if I could really justify a $7 purchase. I knew the latter had nothing to do with cashflow, and everything to do with the idea of spending money on myself for something that was "silly" and/or "childish". Even though it made me smile when I saw it, I had the mental image of my sister (who lives with me) rolling her eyes at such a kiddie-like item sitting on my computer desk at home. I bought it anyways, but my brief moment of enthusiasm felt dampened after I left the store.
3. Challenges... I read the Week 10 chapter last night and marvelled again at AW's power to always seem to serve up a chapter at exactly the moment that I most need that particular content. Syncronicity and all that. Yesterday it was the vices that block us, which is something I've been grappling with all week.
I don't do drugs. I don't smoke. I don't even drink alcohol. I don't have meaningless flings with lots of sex--although sometimes I wish I did. Instead my vice comes in the form of a video game known as "World of Warcraft". You may have heard of it or you may have not. It is an insanely popular video game with teens and a large number of adults that can claim 10 million subscriptions worldwide. It is also known for being very, VERY addictive and rightly holds the nickname of "WarCrack". For me, my interest in the game began back in my days in animation school where we students oggled the cutting-edge 3D graphics and animation, (cutting edge at least for 2003). There is also the whole fantasy element which locks in nicely with the kind of worlds I enjoy reading and writing about, (such as my novel). And finally there are the superbly designed game mechanics that offer a sense of progression and achievement with relatively little effort.
For me it's like the perfect trinity... 3D graphics, fantasy and a sense of achievement... I've played on and off for probably four years or more. Usually when I quit the game it is with an explosive sense of disgust with myself for wasting my time on something so clearly stupid and addictive. And yet, I get drawn back in thinking "oh it's harmless and you need a little harmless fun now and then, don't you?"
While there are times when it is genuinely fun, I know a lot of the time I use it as simply a mind-numbing agent... the way a drunk consumes alcohol to deaden the world around them... when in the game I can shut off the rest of my mind and focus on trivial things like making gold or killing the next monster.
In this week's AW chapter, she talks about the need to put aside creative blocking agents and when I thought about what that would be for me, WarCraft instantly came to mind. On the flip-side though, yesterday I set my task list of what I wanted to accomplish both domestic and creative... and I basically completed everything on my list and spent some time playing in the game. I found I couldn't congratulate myself for the time I spent on task and everything I got done. I just wound up beating myself up over the fact that I could've done EVEN MORE if I hadn't wasted time messing around inside a video game. This, of course, falls into line with AW's warning about the workaholic who can't simply shut down for time to do nothing and just enjoy it.
AW also talks about just trying to ride out the anxiety which, at the moment, I am having trouble imagining how I would handle. I'm sitting at work still twitchy from a nightmare I had last night involving two of our directors and a plane we were supposed to be catching to Denver. Nothing in the scenario is likely--I don't travel at all in my job--it was just my unconscious mind stressing out over a big project I'm working on that involves both of them. In the dream I first forgot that I was supposed to be flying out with them. Then I forgot the wheelchair battery charger at home which would've meant a dead battery a day into the trip. Both of the directors were understanding--one of them even offering to drive back for the charger--but I was just beside myself with anxiety and this overwhelming sense of being a burden and a failure.
So right now I don't know if my desire to shut my brain off for stretches of time is a good thing... or if it is just avoidance and what I really need is to soak in my fears and anxiety until my toes get pruny...
i had a good dream- i saw my budgie again, and he was in a lemon tree which was in the house but brimming with fruit! and the bird made me laugh. it felt so good to have a good dream that i remembered.
i had wonderful views of the hawks by the river- the young ones are out of the nest now- got to within 10 feet a couple of times. they are just so darned magnificent!
a lady gave mom and me flowers from her garden when we passed by admiring.
artists date bike ride on saturday took me to dairy queen. i enjoy a medium cone.
i didnt count but i think i made 5 out of 7 days on the mps again.
just got over 800 km of riding on my bike (500 miles), in 40 hours of riding, 650 km of it since June 1- a little off from the pace I set but I am pleased that i am working at it.
My current morning-pages practice is pretty spotty, as I have a toddler, but rather than beating myself up for not getting up at 4:00 to write before he wakes up, I take the time I have at the moment and write in my journal while he's playing at the park. It isn't three pages, it isn't every day, but it works for the time being.
I had a huge breakthrough earlier this week and a real shot of creative energy--today I'm in the opposite place. Just too humid, too hot, the park wasn't available and my kid is teething. Thankfully, my husband has taken him grocery shopping so I have an hour of peace to settle myself. I think I'll use it to read a book now I've read these lovely comments.
1. It's too hot to hike, so my exercise program has slowed to a crawl. Just taking my dog out for walks and doing very early morning rides on my horse on Sundays.
2. Movin' ahead on my mixed media piece. The glass part is ready for its second-to-last stint in the kiln. Next week, when I see what I've got, I can start work on the ceramic part. Made some choices re: the kind of clay I'll be using and the way I'll finish the clay. It felt good to know where I'm going.
3. Had another mixed-media idea, which I'll file away with the others that have been popping up. This is really exciting!
4. The owner of the glass studio that I use has graciously been teaching me some new techniques. I started a project with her help that is straight out of a beginners' book but should come out looking pretty nice. The more basics I learn, the higher my imagination will be able to fly. These simple projects are sort of like scales for a pianist or barre work for a ballet dancer--boring but necessary.
5. My day job is picking up steam. Good!
6. Wish the weather would cool down. My favorite time of year is just before and after Halloween, when the temperature is comfy and the wind is frisky. That's usually the clearest time of year, too--when you can hike in the Santa Monica Mountains and see all the way from Catalina Island to downtown L.A. (Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as a clear day in L.A. It's rare, but it does happen.)
7. I wish, I wish, I wish I could spend more than one day a week on my art!!!!! Patience, Horsewings, patience. You'll know when you're ready to set up a studio of your own. For now, just work where and when you can and keep moving forward.
4. SUCCESSES ... I suppose part of my problem is that I tend to *forget* this part and the fact that even amidst my ongoing angst I do actually have successes.
>> Learned a new technique for breaking down a plot for a novel called the Snowflake Method. I have been slowly and steadily applying it to my current outline as well as writing complete story arcs for the characters across the full trilogy. It has provided many revealing insights and has helped tighten up a lot of loose ends.
>> Kicked ass over the course of the many, MANY meetings in my day job last week. I try to remind myself that it wasn't all that long ago that I wouldn't even speak up in a meeting where there was a director or other sort of big-wig present... so this too is progress...
>> Did a little bit of work on Keyframe... which unfortunately has been eaten when the server crashed the morning and may or may not be recoverable... *sigh*
The good: The glass part of my mixed-media sculpture is finished, and now I can work on the ceramic part. While the glass part was melting in the kiln, I was working on a boring project, designed to teach me a new glass technique. The work was dull--but the technique has inspired a great idea for another sculpture.
The bad: As many of you know, I only have access to my studio one afternoon a week. This slows things down to a crawl. Thus I have one sculpture partially finished and two more banging around in my head. That's frustrating! I can't wait till I have something completed to show you all! (Well...there ARE the plates I did just to get comfortable with fused glass. They're sorta pretty, but also sorta generic-looking. Not really me.)
I haven't been here in a while, cheking in I mean, since I was in week 3, now I am on week 6.
Morning pages- just failed one day because I was sick.
Artist days - I realized that I missed two dates!, I can't believe it. The truth is I've been having so much fun with my project, and feeling so free that I didn't realize I wasn't doing them!.
Week four was very very tough, I didn't handle it as I planned to, and I couldn't complete all of it. But it changed so much for me anyway that is a success in my opinion. I plan to revisit it later.
Most of all, this past few weeks I've found or reclaimed my right to do what I love to do, and doing it with joy. I discovered how much guilt I used to feel for having a work I love and the time to do it or not if I don't want to, and how much I did slow my progress so others wouldn't feel threatened. I still feel that sometimes, I read here how others struggle to find time to do their creative work. I acknowledged how much courage it took for me to leave a "respectable career" and do my jewelry (Jewelry is my first love, she made me want to fight for me)
So, my life is the same, but has changed so dramatically that I'm still walking like in a dream.
My project was slow for a week or two and then it exploded and I accept it to do it the way I dreamed it. So far I have 63 small paintings, and 100 mini-mini hearts for a big painting, plus the intaglio series too, and everything is halfway, but they are coming alive nicely, o and a hat too. Today I'm having a mini break because I finished a weekly goal. Now I'll start to do the hearts in jewelry too. I haven't had any money related work in a while, but I'm doing week 6 so I guess this is part of my process, the truth is that way way behind inside me, I feel a little anxiety, and guilt to feel anxiety too, but I'm working on it. So far every issue that has come up in TAW, has changed my views and feelings so much that I am very excited to see where this is going to.
It's quiet here at the office, so I'm going to occupy myself with checking in.
MORNING PAGES: Got to them all, although I don't like how they've been slipping to later and later in the morning on the weekend. I need to get back to doing them just after I wake up.
ARTIST DATE: Took the little Seabus ferry across to North Vancouver and toured around Lonsdale Quay. I realized belatedly this was probably not the best artist date I could've made since the most appealing thing about going to Lonsdale Quay was buying a beaver tail, (flat sweet pastry, sometimes called 'elephant ears'), which I can't have right now due to the fact I am trying to keep to my diet. I stared longingly at the beaver tail place for a long time and bought a pretty celtic-designed postcard for my office cubicle instead. Still, I felt somewhat cheated when I took the ferry home.
THE GOOD: I continue to use my wacom tablet for various ideas and projects, trying to focus on the LEARNING aspect as opposed to the end result aspect. I caught myself starting to think 'demo reel' on a character design I was colouring and immediately flipped to a photo-manipulation. It's too soon to be thinking about reels and settling back into practice-mode was ultimately more rewarding. I have now begun working on a design for my sister's wedding invitations as well--also to be done using the tablet.
THE GOOD: I began reading chapters out of "The Illusion of Life" on the history and innovations of Disney animation. It's a fascinating read and one that I honestly should've done years ago, but there was something so monumental about that book that even reading it felt intimidating. One lesson I keyed in on was that it took 14 years for the Disney studios to go from making crappy little short films to Snow White. I looked at Sir Stumpy and tried to imagine it as being like the crappy little short films the Disney studio produced in the 20s and then tried to imagine what I COULD be producing 14 years from now. In that framework, I actually got a little excited.
THE GOOD: I watched an animated movie from the 80s called The Last Unicorn, which has a character called Schmendrick the Magician in it. Schmendrick is a terrible magician and can't seem to make his spells go right at all. His breakthrough comes when, in a moment of desperation, he cries "Magic do as you will! Magic do as you will!" and later he speaks of how the magic just came and took him, and someday he would make it come when he called. It occurred to me that Schmendrick is basically a blocked creative and that only by giving his will over to the magic itself is he able to take a step toward becoming a true magician. I have since taped a screencap of Schmendrick with "Magic do as you will" to my computer monitor at home.
THE BAD: I was a hair's breadth away from getting in a fight with my friend on Saturday. I keep flipping back and forth on whether this friend is my chief supporter or my chief crazymaker, but Saturday I was feeling it was very much the latter. She keeps urging me to apply to the Vancouver Pixar studio and I am trying to explain to her that I have nothing that I could send them without embarrassing myself. I have a five year old reel whose content didn't get me a job the FIRST time around at studios far less picky than Pixar. "Well just make a new reel," she says, like it's as simple as adjusting a paper resumé. "The last one took me NINE MONTHS and that was when I was a full time student!" But she keeps feeding me these patronizing platitudes about how "well if I don't apply, I can guarantee you won't get it"... and "how do I know I am not exactly what they are looking for"... the whole conversation just made me want to throttle her. I am just getting to the point where I can think about animation without my psyche screaming in terror, and you want me to go take the proverbial cliff-dive of making another reel. I want to spend this time LEARNING, dammit. I want to gain my footing again. Nine months--or more--of sweating over a demo reel when I am feeling rusty and unprepared is the quickest way to send my artist child back into shell shock. And I REFUSE to do that to her, not when we've actually started making some progress.
Sending a reel to Pixar now wouldn't feel empowering AT ALL. It would feel like walking onto a firing range... naked.
But I can't get her face out of my head... that patronizing, pitying face... the one that seems to label me as either a failure or a coward for not doing something as simple as putting a DVD in a mailbox. I keep wanting to sit her down and try to explain, but I know she wouldn't understand. She never understands. She's always been demanding when it comes to my artistic abilities--asking for paintings for her birthday or "artistic advice" for her wedding last year--as if the best way to inspire me and support me is to strip mine my creativity like it were a resource.
I've decided though if she starts in on another of these Pixar lecture sessions I'm just going to have to tell her to back off. That sort of help I just don't need right now.
What I'm realising is that progress never happens in a straight line. I think the important thing is to move forward as little as that is for the moment in the difficult times, when I feel that I lost that flow, that "zone",
Wynnara's pushy friend sounds a lot like my mother, who didn't believe me at age 16, when I told her I wasn't ready to take the driver's license test. I knew myself a hell of a lot better than she did, but she pushed and pushed until I took the damn test to shut her up. And guess what? I drove like an idiot and failed. I was so embarrassed (after all, I was supposed to be brilliant and NEVER fail a test) that I failed two more times before my mother finally backed off. When I felt I was ready, I took the test and passed with flying colors.
What does this have to do with creativity? Just that it wasn't an isolated incident. My mother never trusted me to be the expert on my own life. She always knew best and would swoop down to save me from my own stupidity. When you're raised not to trust your own instincts--well, folks, you do the math.
Has anyone else had a "pusher" in their lives? (This is fodder for a new thread, since this thread is for weekly check-ins.)
things did not go as planned. the time i took off work did not materialize into my grand adventure i had hoped. i just had to refocus myself during this time, recuperating rather than expending myself.
july 27 and 28 i did not get 3 pages done- did not even finish 1 page on those days, yet even in that i can find some strength from what i did write. i can move ahead, its not to late, get it straight. i can also leap like a jumping jack flash. i did make 3 pages every other day.
Today is only Saturday, and I usually do this on Monday. Too bad. I'm ready right now.
I spent two days this week working on the ceramic parts of my mixed-media sculpture. Now I'm nervous about them cracking in the kiln or not looking right after they dry, since shrinkage can alter their shapes. I have to remind myself that if they don't turn out, I can always re-do them. The trouble is that this sculpture is taking me so damn long to complete, that I want it all done NOW, and done perfectly, to boot.
Dear Horsewings: Patience is a virtue.
I did the ceramic work in the communal studio where I used to be a member. It was fun to reconnect with the two or three people I know who still work there. (Most of the current membership came in after I left.) I was nervous that after all these years I would no longer know what to do with clay, but the skill memories were literally at my fingertips; once I touched the stuff, it was like I'd never quit. One problem: my chronic back pain has gotten worse over the years, and when I stood up to leave, I was stiff and sore. Time for some exercises and a good massage!
My artist's date this morning was a ride on my horse, who gave me her usual affectionate greeting: "Feed me! Cookies! Carrots!" (Well, that's the translation.) My dog went out with me and promptly tried to kill herself. (There's a spot where the trail crosses a street, and the stupid dog decided to play in traffic, rather than coming when called. Time for some re-training.)
Perhaps I'll do another artist's date tomorrow, since this one was more harrowing than relaxing. If the weather stays breezy, maybe I'll find a nice mountain to hike.
On my day job, I had a session yesterday where I really think I did somebody some good. It's been a while since I've felt that way. It helped me remember why I went into the mental health field to begin with. Now, if I can just hold onto that feeling...
Anyway, that's my story. Now back to my crossword puzzle.
Hello everyone. I'm new on the forum-just joined this morning. I discovered Julia Cameron's work on a spiritual retreat this past May. One of the participants had the book Answered Prayers. I was so moved by the book that I decided to investigate Julia Cameron's work further. Boy, was I blown away! One of the other women on the trip talked about her experiences with TAW, and said the book helped her complete two major art projects that were languishing on the back burner. I purchased TAW and now I am about to begin Week 4. I am doing this program in conjunction with the exercise program P90X, the two are quite similar in their time frame and focus. I'm doing one for spirit and creativity, the other for optimal physical fitness.
I do mp everyday. I have become addicted to them in a good way. At first it was hell-waking up an extra twenty minutes earlier to write. My first time doing them consisted of squiggly lines all across the pages, that's how disoriented and angry I was about the process. Then I started to evolve and put words on the pages. Since embarking on TAW, I have been dreaming more in the past three weeks than I have in the past three years! They are intense, scary dreams. I believe they represent my fears and issues I'm not dealing with. My artist date this week was a long walk on the upper east side of Manhattan on Madison Avenue. The week prior to that, I went to The Met to see two art exhibitions. My treat was taking me and my brother out for pizza. I haven't done since I was a kid. We usually now have it delivered from home, but since the P90X, I have cut down my intake on pizza considerably, so this was a real treat. Next week for my artist's date I'm going to walk the Brooklyn Bridge and the next one will probably go roller skating at Chelsea Piers. I discovered how wonderful painting is, and I'm going to buy a paint set. This program is helping me take risks and face challenges that I usually cower from. I have been writing more than I have in a long time. I can admit to myself I am a writer. Even when my short story was published I still didn't call myself one because it wasn't the big leagues. I got another piece of my writing that is going to publish next week. This is the first time my writing will be shown after years of going underground and doubting myself. For me this is a life long process, both the creative side and the physical fitness. It goes way beyond the 90 days. Thank you, Julia.
Thanks for your post. Lots of writers--including people just beginning to realize that's what they are--use these forums. I'm sure you've given them a boost!
As for me, I'm always excited to hear from New York, one of my favorite cities!
I've had things published and produced (although I'm off in an entirely different direction these days), and I know how difficult and rewarding that whole routine can be.
I had no idea there were additional books, that is wonderful!
Morning Pages - all done, lots of topics, lots of scattered thoughts, that are seeming to come together.. wonder if that means my brain is jelling?
Artist Dates - I'm doing this my own way... I used to be a very social person and then became more of a hermit. In a way to push myself to be more social, for my Artist Dates, I've been asking friends to go somewhere with me artsy. Last week I invited a friend to a museum and lunch with me. It was wonderful... for both of us! Yesterday my daughter and I went to see Julie - Juila.... I hadn't been to the movies in a couple years. We also ran a couple errands... it was nice to just be with her. We agreed it would just be us, sort of like a date. I do enjoy her company!
The Good - My heart is lighter....
The Bad - There are only 24 hours in a day
The Ugly - the kitchen, it needs to be cleaned. (but it's also a blessing since that means we've been eating... )
What!!!! You mean that you did not see my wonderful, fantastic, georgous, exciting, happy.. breathtaking...artists date last week??
I could not have thought of this one. Remember, I am an old lady, and I dont go out much... and I dont like crowds.... someone just happend to mention... on Friday afternoon... that something was happening.. starting on the parking lot, at the side of the post office, oppisite the library and Velddrif Municipal offices.
Had to be there... a chance of a liife time. And there I stood, with my big sun hat with the roses, cluching my camera, in lovely sunlight, 10 am in the monring. And all around me the motor bikes started arriving... in twos and threes, small bunches of black leather clad figuers on gleaming mean husky monster machines. Toyotas, Yamahas, Hondas.. even two vintage Harleys!!!! No one minded being photogarpahed. I was in an aura bymyself. In my own world of light and shadow, sparkel of sunlight on silver and pearlised iradecent marrons, cobalt, black like reflecting water... And people, women as well as men. Most happy and greeting friends, a few silent ones, just standing and looking on. Got mases of good photogrpahs. Dont know as yet what I am going to do with them, but later one, when the urge to paint motor bike riders hits me again I dont have to go scroungeing for photos.
A sigh of happiness. What an artit's date!!! The gathering of over 80 motorbikes from distant places. The mayor was there (he just loved being photogrpahed!!!) After his little speech, thanking the riders for their generosity, the bikers vroom vroomed their bikes and slowly started moving. One by one, orderly fashion, they left, peeling off, watching oncoming trafic. They went to two of our local creches to deliver blankets for the underprivlaged children. A sigh of contentment!! A though for the future. Make an artists date to get dropped off in Vredenburg on the day and time that the little girls go for ballet lessons at the local ballet school. Got lots of photogrpahs for that? Gareat idea. Work on it.
Well, I did MP's each day but yesterday only a half page because I was so dead tired after a late night party (that I was afraid to attend - so I am still happy with myself for going and staying until 3:00am).
I did an artist's date (although some were small) each day! I am trying to nurture my artist as much as possible and trying to move ahead quickly because soon my new job will start and I want to be fully rejuvenated by then!
BUT today I have been on the couch all day so far and I haven't figured out why! Need to get motivated! Maybe yoga will help.
Ah - yes - I didn't even realize that it could be because its monday! I ended up going to my parents and staying over and today I helped my mom clean her house (she has advanced osteo-arthritis as I wrote on another thread) - so I guess I did accomplish something afterall.
Die Lasten meines Lebens, auch körperlich, möchte ich am liebsten wie einen Stein von einer Brücke ins Wasser werfen. Ein großer Mühlstein. Doch ich kann diese Last nicht allein zum Fluss tragen. Der Stein ist schwer. Der Weg zum Fluss weit. Also gehe ich jeden Tag nur ein ganz kleines Stück. Rolle den Stein vor mir her. Verstecke mich dahinter. Breche mit rauen Fingern einen kleinen Kiesel ab und werfe ihn dann in den Bach. Der Abend findet mir einen Platz für die Nacht. Die ich in mir trage: um zu vergessen. Um mich zu erinnern. Um auszuruhen. Träume weisen mir den Weg für morgen. Nicht immer verstehe ich sie.
I find myself in a very strange place this week. Yesterday I put together the pieces for a small glass sculpture that I have tentatively titled "The Three Stooges." If the thing works out in miniature, I may do a larger version. Here's the odd part:
I'm feeling a letdown. I can't go ahead with my big mixed-media piece until the ceramic parts have gone through two firings. They are drying right now and waiting for firing number one. The little sculpture I just started will likely not match the version of it in my head. And with the economy the way it is, even if I end up with an inventory of work ready for marketing, who's going to care? (No pep talks, please. These "down" moments are all a part of my process. I allow myself to have them, knowing they are temporary.)
How to kick my enthusiasm back into gear? Well, right now the answer seems to be to concentrate on my day job, which is fulfilling in its own right, and to keep going into the studio, patiently working as I await my next flash of inspiration.
Coming to this forum and hearing about other people's journeys is a big help. Thanks, everyone, for sharing what's going on in your creative lives.
Horsewings - I am sorry your enthusiasm is falling. It happens all of the time to me. I actually have not created much over the last few years and when I do create - I am so thrilled that I believe it will be the ONLY time! I am still very early in my journey. You are so inspiring - that I know you will be inspired again - I hope other's stories will help you.
Today I started my day positively with my MP's and then I did yoga. then I took my mom to get a pedicure. I got an Ionic Cleanse (put your feet in water with an eletrode thing that supposedly detoxifies your body). It was very cool and my mom and I got to bond. I felt very happy afterwards.
Then an old friend called me. She and I went to University together many years ago. She is such a creative person, a real artist. She is an actor and writer but has chosen to become a teacher. She loves to teach but finds it exhausting and rewarding at the same time. I had not forgotten about our friendship, but I had not thought about her recently. After I spoke to her, I felt so light and happy. Connected with some happiness from my youth. She told me I should come to visit her in BC sometime. We decided - maybe next summer. I wish to see the BC Forests that Emily Carr painted. She captured the spirit of them!
Anyway, I do not feel like creating today. It has been a long day, but at least I am in good spirits. The past weekend was difficult and hormones for sure contributed to it, but my mood was low, my health was poor and everything upset me.
Then, today it was all turned around. I am so relieved and so happy today. I am tackling my next TAW page. Everyone have a wonderful night!
i know i didnt even do the check in last week, and still dont know what I want to say about this week. it just is a security to me to have the pages to go with me through all this. and i am sure thankful for everyone here.
Me too Jeff! I am really having anxiety today! I am not feeling very well at all! I am going to get some errands done today - it is super hot out there so I am sure that is not helping this headache.
I want to create something but I have little time today since I have plans in an hour and then with a friend for dinner. The good news is that we have planned a nature walk so that will be almost like an artists date for me.
In some ways I am jealous of those who just go to work and come home - who do not feel the need to do so many other things. I feel like I am pulled in so many directions and my inner critic and perfectionism are also getting in the way!
This journey has been wonderful - but I feel like I am taking a few steps backward. This is upsetting to me.
BREATHE! Baby steps! One thing at a time! Whatever doesn't get done today can get done tomorrow.
When I want to create something and don't have the time, I do a quick sketch in my little book. That way I don't have to carry the thing around in my head. It's OK to forget about it and concentrate on more immediate concerns, because I know where to find it when I need it.
I also make a week-long "to do" list, adding things to it as they come to mind. I carry it around with me (I'm old school--no Blackberry) and cross off each chore as I get it done. The chores don't have to be finished in the order I write them; seeing them on paper helps me prioritize. It also allows me to rest my brain. If I forget about something for a while, that's OK. I can pull out my trusty "to do" list and be reminded.
Whatever doesn't get done by the end of the week was probably not urgent and can be carried over to the next week. Seeing my chores crossed off reminds me of how much I've accomplished & helps me to feel proud, rather than stressed.
I don't know if this method of time organization will work for you, but it might be worth a try. It has certainly been a great de-stressing tool for me.
...life moves in waves, my dear friends. ............. don't panic- as long as you 've got your towel ! (see mr. douglas adams)
....rockins: didn't you ask for surrender? welcome to the club: what you feel is exactly a part of it, dear sparky. don't worry, ... or maybe: worry a little bit and than stop.
love to ya all, don't want to imagine what my life would be if i haven't found you... brrrrrr-bad thought- go away!
Thank you my sweethearts!! You are so special to listen to me and take the time to offer encouragement! thanks you! Ionee - I agree - what a terrible thought if I didn't have you kindred spirits!
Horsewings - I am a good listmaker. - I love it! It really helps - thanks! How are you doing? How is your spirit? Your enthusiasm was falling - are you having a good day today? How can I help?
I will check back tonight after dinner and a walk with a friend. xo
Still up reading all your inputs. I am encouraged that a number of you took the time and effort to send me positivity whilst you have had your own challenges to attend to. Night night once more from London.
does enthusiasm only occur in the spring ? I have this awful feeling that summer is over and the hard work will so soon begin all over again.... Those horses will be back in thier stables needing water,hay,mucking out....day in ...day out..... Not one of them is mine.I work on them for nothing....maybe because I love them.I cant ignore them as they are right outside my door,and even if I could afford someone to dothe work,the presence of someone else here stops me from being creative.I was on top of the hay trailer yet again yesterday,stacking bales....and I must be mad,at 54 ! Maybe I should just shovel the --it in the winter and forget about art..cos its already stressing me out ! The older you get the harder it is to start your own work in the evenings,after cooking and a busy day I am just too knackered. The art trail I was organising has only 6 people in this whole county interested.....I am not giving it up...but I think next year would be better. But hey.....spring is only six months away.....I can be a part time artist then and take loads of photos over the winter....!
Yesterday I walked passed two young women and overheard one saying that she couldn't wait to get to 25! I thought 'bless' with the knowledge of how quickly life passes us. As John Lennon sang thought they weren't his idea - "Life is what happens to you whilst you're busy making other plans". I can look at others and think I'd like their life, but really when I am spirit conscious I can just be in the now or the present and be grateful feeling safe and alive. Rustic Rose the way you describe your life today too me sounds so full, alive and literally earthed. When I rode a horse in Ireland for the first time since a child and at the age of 50, accompanied by some fear I still felt invigorated and connected to nature. Swimming out to a fishing boat anchored a long way out in the Arabian sea? - I felt so grateful and fortunate, and whilst empowered also humbled by the enormity of the ocean (at 56).
Coming home from work this morning on a hot day with continuous concrete underfoot, traffic and alarms sounding in my ears, I arrived home with a little patch of nature on my balcony, The beautiful plants I nurture like myself - intermittently. Most of the memorable times in my life have been connected to nature, animals and children. I ran a kennels once and would spend hours out in the paddock all weather, observing all the different breeds of dogs with their different characters, and some had a wonderful ability to tune into my moods. With gratitude also I have been entrusted with others children (infant age) and have often been amazed at their clear insight and ability to live in the 'now', showing me how 'off the path' I have wandered.
At this moment in time I'd love to be inhaling horse manure and hay, as it is I am just as happy to give this to you. Did my first morning pages yesterday and will do the next lot in a minute. better late than never?
Has anyone got an idea for my new tag from my ramblings? Ta ta.
You started out as 7777, then switched immediately to ShAdow Artist. Now you're asking the rest of us for suggestions on a new name. Do I detect a lack of confidence in your creative instincts?
Rose--
It must be going around. I was feeling discouraged this week, too. May we both get through it as gently and quickly as possible. Please let me know how I can help.
Hello everyone. I have been neglectful in my weekly check ins for several weeks I'm afraid. Stopped reading Walking in the Way and started on Writing yourself thin. Writing yourself thin has chapters, not weekly sections. Kind of lost my way abit. But I like it. It is helping me to understand my eating habits - good and bad. Here's the thing. I am a quilter. Some quilts can be put together in a day. Some take years of hand work, those are the ones I prefer. I have been working on one quilt on and off since 1999. The "flowers " are made up of 3/4 hexagons sewn together. It takes me a full day to create just one flower. That flower then gets attached to the rest that have already been joined together. I have created the flowers from scraps of fabric that my bee group gave me ten years ago. Many pieces were one of a kind. I have added pieces from my own stash to compliment these treasured memories. Each fabric reminds me of quilts I have made or ones my friends worked on. Well. Over the past year I have put together a large bunch of these flowers and was ready to start sewing them on the main piece. On Friday I went to the local quilt shop for a day quilting in their classroom. For $10 they let you come and spend the day with other quilters chatting, socializing ect. The staff from the store are available if you need help and if you need any thing to finish your quilt you can purchase it in the store. I have really enjoyed these days of mingling with other creatives. Until today. I carry this quilt in a large plastic case. Today when I opened it I realised a number of my flowers were not there. It is the first time I have opened this container since Friday. I am certain because there was one in particular that I had shown the ladies which is gone. When I pulled them out I thought "I'm sure I had more than this" but then when I could not find that one in particular it hit home. I had been robbed. Some other quilter had purposefully taken my hard earned work. The only time it was out of my site was at the end of the class. I put everything away and left the box closed on top of my chair while I went to use the bathroom. It hurts me. I can never recreate those pieces. Also now I can never trust those people again. It makes me not want to ever go there again. What would I do, sit there staring at each person wondering who the thief is and when they will strike again? I have accepted the loss and I have asked the creator to deal with this dishonest person. But I am still sad.
What a horrible experience! If you report this to the people who run the place, would they do anything to beef up security? After all, if some asshole robbed you, then all the other decent quilters who gather there are at risk, too. (Hope my language doesn't offend you, but I can't believe that anyone could be so evil!) I wish I could find all of your hard work and return it to you...but the best I can offer is a cyber hug. I know it's not enough, but please know that I care.
Now about my weekly check-in:
My day job was rough this past week. Several of my clients were dealing with crises, and by Friday I felt drained by all of their sadness and worry. Yesterday I visited my four-footed therapist (my horse), and she worked her usual magic. The weather was cool and breezy for a change, and the mountins were beautiful. I always see egrets and hawks when I ride, and occasionally a woodpecker or two. I go out too late in the morning to see the deer, but I know they're watching me from behind the bushes. There's nothing like sharing peaceful trails with an animal friend to make everything OK.
As for my art...well, patience is a virtue. I have three sculptures in the works right now: one mixed-media piece (ceramic and glass) and two small fused glass pieces. But because I only have access to a studio once a week, the work is moving at a drunken snail's pace. And because I don't own a kiln, I must wait in line for all the firings I need. The mixed-media sculpture is in its second month of being partially on one shelf (ceramic sections awaiting bisque firing) and partially on another (glass section completed and awaiting assembly). All of which means I'm spinning my wheels--working away with no finished product to show for my efforts.
The logical part of my brain knows that things are moving as quickly as my situation allows. But the childish, impatient part of me (the "id," for all of you freudians out there) wants my sculptures finished RIGHT NOW!!!! The fact that I've talked about them so often on this forum and still can't display them is more than annoying. I can't wait to give everyone the link to the website where they will eventually be posted.
I love the work. I know I have the talent. And I have the stubbornness to make it all come together. Which means that someday I'll be ready to set up a studio of my own. I'll know enough to feel comfortable cutting, grinding, fusing, slumping, building in my own space and with my own kiln. But for now I'm dependent on the kindness of more knowledgeable glass artists, who have limited workspace and time to offer. That's life. Still, even this 56-year-old lady with a lot of patience and gratitude under her belt has the right to stamp her feet and whine once in a while...so there!!!!!
I made my night pages 6 times in a row and haven't skipped morning pages at all this week. Took time to be with family this weekend. It was excellent weather. Looking forward to a key piece of information coming to me within 2 weeks.
kae I am so sorry your treasures were stolen.I lost some tools my dad had given to me before he passed away in a so called very friendly pottery class.They were in the tool box one week, and gone the next.Yes I was upset,but I decided to keep it very quiet ,carry on as normal,and wait for my moment. Then when it came,I spoke up...Has anyone seen my.blah blah blah....?only my dear dad gave them to me etc......maybe I left them by the sink after washing them....? Silence.Looking round the room I noticed a red face,so I said,could you all help me look for them,maybe one of the other students from another group has picked them up by mistake? Next week,suprise suprise,they were found, in the dry clay room !
on average about 90% of the time I get mps done, but only about 66% on night page. i find i really have to keep plugging my memory to do it at night, but morning pages come very naturally to mind to do.
had a scary moment last week when i thought my mps book was missing. (i rarely lose things, i just misplace them very often)i discovered i left it in a bag at my moms and was so glad to get it back. was glad to also re affirm the trust between us- and i said i am so glad i can talk to you about anything, and that you would not read my pages.
there are so many benefits to mps i just dont know how i would list them all...knowing the value of having a safe place to vent. and a place to let my heart out into. a place to affirm and to feel good about that tiny bit of progress, that baby's step i just took... and look! i'm walking!
Oh Jeff - im so glad you got your pages back!!!!!! I actually am thinking og destroying mine - because i need them to be a safe place and they are not safe if someone can read them. my husband may - not on purpose but - well - i don't liketo think of that. in fact i am holding back what i can say because i am afraid i could offend someone!
I too am taking baby steps and am so glad to have this forum to meet and encourage others who are also on this journey.
Jeff - did you say you were painting a portrait? I had agoa of painting one by the end of summer - but then i got busy with yoga, walking and socializing. but these are good for me too since i used to be a depressed, worried and anxious couch potato with chronic pain!!
Today is my mom's 71st birthday. she is my best friend and i love her more than anything! SHE HAS BEEN DEPRESSED (oops caps) lately and i hope i can cheer her.
hi rockins; i think just having a talk with your husband about the privacy of morning pages should be enough for him to understand- i mean after all you trust each other with other things i'm sure. there is value in keeping them as a reference and not destroying them. i heard some people do destroy them after and they feel good about it but i can't imagine doing that- not even for zen's sake. i would be secretly hiding them and drawing upon their stores of personal truth.
i don't think i am doing a portrait. but last night i saw the colour of sunset in the clouds and decided it was rustic rose. but then the light through the clouds makes describing colour in terms of solids very difficult to do. i like painting but not up to doing a protrait really (not yet- maybe if i took some classes and practiced).
Jeff - you should paint whatever your heart tells you to! I feel the same way! However, my heart is telling me that I haven't been doing my work that is due at the end of the week - yikes!
I think I am coming down with a cold after having a lovely swim in the relatively cool lake yesterday! I have to get up and go - but I need to get this stuff done! I am going on an overnight trip to Toronto this friday! It will be amazing because I do not usually drive in the city - but I have to because my friend's car is in the shop so I will drive. I will be brave - and that in itself always makes me feel good! I must get s good portion of the work for next week done before friday because I won't enjoy myself and I won't have enough time when I return from Toronto - plus I may be too tired!
So - I will call my trip to T.O. an extended artist's date even though it is not alone. I think that will be okay.
Kae- I just saw your post. Have you taken any action? If I were you I would definitley notify the owner of the quilt shop of your loss and when it happened. It could be that some items were turned in having been misplaced in someone else's spot. You could also put out an announcement or flyer "Please return Irreplaceable Quilt Pieces Lost Here on XX/XX/XXXX Date - No Questions Asked!" Someone might be shamed into returning them.
2 - felt good most of the time in spite of endless struggeling with the job... -> in the end: good
3 - realizing that i subconsciously (what a word!) working at some writing-ideas although i'have not enough time to write it all down; but: 3 good sentences a week are better than none -> good, of course/ same time not so good bec. i work in German and its frustrating how bad my English gets meanwhile... more difficult to concentrate.
(pls. don't comment that one - just a creative temperature-taking. i work on it - so it could have change in a few days already. just frustrating to see how others handle 100 languages at the time... damned.)
Ionee I can barely handle the one language I have!! I am really glad to see people feel free to write here in their own language. I put it in the online translator and then I understand. I am glad also to recognize the work people have dedicated to use English as an additional language. OOPS I wasnt supposed to comment on that one, but I want to point out 'as an additional language' is a term used now in schools rather than 'as a second language'.
Pardon my comment, but here in the USA most people can't even master their own language! We seem to have this odd notion that even when we're in someone else's place, they should speak English. Even our international tourist destinations have signage only in English, monolingual hotel workers and tour guides, etc.
I am always humbled by the fact that people from other countries speak English, while I can't put two words together in German, French, Portuguese, Swahili, Hebrew, Arabic, Russian--whatever.
Yes, I speak Spanish--but only because I'm passionate about the language, music, art, etc. from Spain and Latin America. Even highly educated Americans seem to consider bilingualism an amazing feat. And, for the record, I am self-conscious about my Spanish, since it will never sound native.
Your English is very, very good! It may not feel natural for you to write in English, but you make yourself quite clear, and I imagine that you're even better at speaking the #*&%!?$@ language. Once again, I am humbled. So there!
Officially a Day Off...Took some time to do errands by myself....went to Library for ARTIST DATE.....now at work (catch up time)
The thought crossed my mind today that I actually felt kind of free and happy (Feels like it has taken half a century to become possible) I give myself permission to be a happy person : )
I was even happy at work yesterday (!) We had a staff meeting that went incredibly well, very positive in spite of negative realities of economy Received feedback from someone that they saw teamwork; that was great because it shows progress in my relationship with company owner I worked with on project.
here in Germany people often look like feel pity for you if you speak "only one" additional language, so...
of course you're right Horsie: just feels a little bit strange to me, especially bec. i try to be good in German-writing ... hard to accept i'm not on the same level in another language. but a little bit stupid too, i admit.
anyway. . . nevertheless. it's weekend ;-) have fun in which language ever. (even silence can be nice)
while i had nearly 100 talks about English in general and especially my language-skills last week (friends, work, here with you, worst: with my self ;-) one of my potential new landlords is English! he's got a flat 5 minutes over there so i could stay in my neighborhood if i'll get lucky ...
pls. say a prayer for me if you've got 1 minute left, 10 seconds will do too i guess ;-)
I'm feeling better this week, despite the miserable heat (over 100 degrees Farenheit in some places) and the killer fires just outside the city. My neck of the woods is not in any danger--but you can see clouds of smoke billowing up in the Angeles Crest Forest, and the air quality for miles around is miserable.
What fascinates me is the number of tourists who defy the oven-like temperatures, evil air quality and ugly smoke by tootling around Hollywood in those open-air sightseeing busses. Those guys are determined not to miss a damn thing! I would be miserable doing what they're doing, and I almost feel like apologizing to them for the awful atmosphere my city is providing. I hope they head for the beach tomorrow. The ocean is forever peaceful and beautiful, and Venice Beach is its eccentric, playful self, no matter what else is happening across town. A bit of irony: all that smoke in the air has caused some dazzling sunsets. The colors are amazing! I just wish I didn't know why.
Why do I feel better? Well, this weekend I actually managed to spend two afternoons in the studio: one learning new techniques and the other applying them. I'm ticked at the guy who does my ceramic firing; he forgot to uncover the pieces awaiting bisque firing, which means they'll have to dry for another week before he gets them into a kiln. But, hey--beggars can't be choosers. When I have a kiln of my own, all this waiting will vanish.
On my day job, I supervise the grad school interns who come to us each year, and I'm looking forward to meeting this year's student next week. I love teaching and mentoring. It's one of the most gratifying parts of what I do. Anticipation is so much fun.
Well, that's about it. My mixed-media sculptures still lie in pieces, waiting for completion and assembly. But they're one more week closer to coming together. If I look at it that way, it helps. I'm sooo ready to show them to everyone. Hope they're worth the wait!
hi all...yet again art put on hold because we were travelling..just a few photos done between the rain,and a tiny bit of more writing ! missed you all but im back now....!
Hey Rustic Rose- Im glad youre back too. I saw some sunset colours recently that reminded me of your name. But as I was saying it is so hard to define colours with words. glad you got to do some travelling... it is a passion for me to travel and I haven't been in a financial position to do so lately. would be glad to hear more about your trip.
On another thread--I forget which--I just mentioned your "rustic rose sunset" thing. I wonder if tonight I'll see a sunset color that ought to be called "jeff."
if a sunset reminds you of my colours i would be interested to know what colours you see. my name's meaning is god's peace of the land- it just is my everyday ordinary colour.